Olympians

There is talk of the 12 Basketball players that will represent the USA at the Summer Olympic Games in Rio De Janiero next year. RIO!

So let me list the 12 (TWELVE) players: Steph Curry, Russ Westbrook, Lebron James, Kevin Durant, James Harden Paul George, Kobe Bryant, Kyrie Irving, Derrick Rose, Jimmy Butler, Chris Paul, Carmelo Anthony, Chris Bosh, Blake Griffin, Kawhi Leonard, DeAndre Jordan, Dwight Howard, Anthony Davis, Draymond Green, LaMarcus Aldridge, DeMarcus Cousins

Ahhh Houston, Looks like we have a little bit of a problem. Somebody is not going to get a free trip to Rio.

I had this little argument or fuss going with my son about the roster as we speculated on the the Starting 5. Initially, we both agreed that Steph Curry’s Shooting and MVP made him mandatory. Then we also rationalized that Russ Westbrook was the most worthy, gifted, quickest, and reliable guard in the group. Me and my son also agreed that Anthony Davis was the likely choice for Center and Blake Griffin was an obvious choice for Forward. But then things got a little disagreeable. I decided that Dwight Howard was my choice for Power Forward in a tandem with A. Davis, but my son decided that Lebron James was the obvious choice for Small Forward. Now things got all unraveled after that.

Sometimes you have to step back a few steps to see the over-all picture. Lebron James is a huge problem here. To some, Lebron is still the best player in the world. If that is so, why was Steph Curry the MVP? They both play Guard!   Why do I think that Lebron is not a starter on the Olympic Basketball Team?

Ho Azz Bitch. That is what I call them. Lebron James, Kevin Durant, Paul George, Kobe Bryant, and even James Harden to a degree. Forwards that want to spend the whole game launching jumpers over 6′-2″ guards, and now we have to accommodate their lazy, no-defense playing asses. I compare them to the likes of Wes Unseld and Charles Barkley, who matched up against players that were 6 inches taller than them, and I am not impressed. Kobe Bryant does not have an impressive shooting percentage, if you want to get straight to the point. In fact, Kobe has missed more shots than any player in NBA history!  So much for stats. Ole Skoole Defenders would never permit a 6′-8″ Forward to run offensive plays from 30 feet out. Remember how Magic Johnson was permitted to use shoulder to protect the ball from Ole Skoole Defenders? That was a mistake! Raiders, this way, Lakers, that way! These players are successful at scoring over Piss-Poor Defensive Mis-Matches, nothing more!

What is wrong with me? Let me tell you. I do not think that there is a logical argument about who should shoot jumpers between Curry and LeBron.  Curry wins that one. That is a “Cut”! We don’t need two Jacking Guards on the floor. It is a tough decision. If you think that Steph Curry and Russ Westbrook can play guard, with Lebron James faking the Small Forward Position, then you have a hole where your brain is supposed to be. That is a 3 guard offense with all 3 guards trying to score 40 points, and oh so little defense and rebounding.  I can already hear LeBron, crying and moaning about touches. A Forward gets his own touches through rebounding, not Diva Teardrops! In my son’s first 5, Anthony Davis and Blake Griffin would be the front line and I do not think that is enough for the Olympics. This forces Griffin to play Power Forward, which he is not, and leaves a vacuum on the other side of the board as LeBron runs around trying to get an open cherry shot off. So to get LeBron’s thumb out of his mouth, we further bench Westbrook, leaving a severe need of a Forward.  Enter Kawhi Leonard. In my heart of hearts, I have Curry, Westbrook, Griffin, Howard, and Davis as the First 5. My son has Curry, Westbrook, James, Griffin, and Davis as his First 5.

We argued back and forth and the best that my son could offer was that Lebron could play small forward. My answer was that Lebron does not play small forward, but plays giant guard. That is what he excels in, “Jacking”. In addition, there are a couple of small forwards of note, like Kawhi Leonard, and Draymond Green that do play forward, that do lead the league, that do have rings and that have earned our respect. So I am not willing to put in a fake-azz, Ho in the forward position and disrespect the play, effort, success, etc of the leagues best small forwards. (Oh Where Are You Scottie Pippen?) It is not about the most MVP’s, not about the league’s top scorers, not about the most popular. It is about the Starting 5.

I have it like this:

Curry, Westbrook, Griffin, Howard, Davis

After doing the step back thing, I realize that Lebron James is going to be in the First 5. He will take the spot of Russ Westbrook regretfully. Dwight Howard will also lose out to Blake Griffin, Anthony Davis, and Kawhi Leonard. We still will not satisfy Baby Bron and he will try to take the shine away from Steph Curry. What a screwed up line-up! No speed, no defense up front, weak on the board.

So, Curry, LeBron, Griffin, Leonard, Davis

I prefer to think of a First 5 and then a strong bench, instead of the notion of a Second 5. This strengthens the argument for utilizing all of the H.A.B.s that are available.

Derrick Rose – I admire the play of Derrick Rose, but his body is not durable enough, especially given the number of guards in the field. Rose Stays home.

Chris Paul – A talented point guard, with ball control and finesse, but he is flat out too slow to play with the others. If the Clippers are ever to win the championship, they will need to realize that Paul is too slow to play with  Griffin and Jordan. Paul’s game would be better suited for Boston or San Antonio. Sorry, services not needed.

Kobe Bryant – Ho Azz Bitch. What comes around goes around. You are not good enough for this round. Yes Kobe is one of the games most fierce Ho Azz Bitches to ever launch jumpers over smaller guards and we wish him farewell, but great players like for instance, Tim Duncan are still leading a charge to the playoffs for their team and are too old for this 2016 Olympic Round. Duncan will not get to play in the 2020 games either, so why does Kobe play in front of Tim in 2016?  Don’t think so Kobe, Farewell.

James Harden – A little bit of a Ho Azz Bitch, James is not 6′-8″ like the others but he still has the zeal for launching and not playing defense.  Steph Curry, Russ Westbrook, and Lebron are probably ahead of Harden and Harden does not make up any difference with “clutch down the stretch” or “defensive tenacity”. I’d rather call on the services of Russ Westbrook down the stretch or when LeBron is crying about touches. Cali is great in the Summer James. Let me offer you a free pass to Pico.

Paul George – Ho Azz Bitch.  Although Paul has decided to stop being a H.A.B., He has not proven himself to be Scottie Pippen in a meaningful way. As soon as he leads Indianapolis to the NBA Championship, and proves to be durable, Paul gets the nod. Until that time, better start finding a good deal on plane tickets and accommodations.

So, Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving, Jimmy Butler, Carmelo Anthony, Chris Bosh, DiAndre Jordan, Dwight Howard, Draymond Green, LaMarcus Aldridge, and Demarcus Cousins are left to be considered, H.A.B.s in Fuchsia.

Jimmy Butler – I want Jimmy on the squad for his fierce tenacity, dependabilty, and effort, but the H.A.B.s have the guaranteed point production and Jimmy is a little streaky. Victim of the H.A.B.s. Maybe next time Jimmy.

Carmelo Anthony – Not a Full-Blooded H.A.B. due to the fact that he plays against forwards. Most of his production is with the jump shot and not post up moves. I want a board enforcer  in the Small Forward position, so tanking for a season leading up to the Olympics, may have been a bad idea. Anthony did not have an Olympic Season. Carmelo’s fate was sealed when NY selected the H.A.B. Championship, Coach of the Superstars, and the TriAngulator. Carmelo does not need Rio, he has LaLa. Enjoy!

DeAndre Jordan – A gifted super athlete that is a very strong, humble role player. I need an enforcer on the board, and I like Jordan’s shot blocking and rebounding ability. However, our PC selection of H.A.B. guards have made Jordan’s “Alley Oop” offensive threat very less likely because those H.A.B.s will not value Olympic assists, and his one dimensional offensive attack, without the ability to post up or put the ball on the floor means that Jordan will be buying a ticket to Rio.

LaMarcus Aldridge – Aldridge should be a strong contender because of his post up ability, strength, size and shooting ability. I am favoring versatility and loading up the bench with weapons. I am apprehensive about placing 2 H.A.B.s on that bench including Kevin Durant, and Chris Bosh. I actually prefer Bosh over Durant because Bosh regularly plays Forward or Center, has great agility, speed, and defensive skills. Bosh is a very streaky shooter over Forwards in his class. Durant, the 6′-11′ Ultimate H.A.B. Guard is a deadly, sometimes streaky shooter over smaller defenders. Durant is a PC choice over Aldridge because he is a deadly assasin in the mold of a Paul Pierce. Sorry Aldridge.

Russ Westbrook – Fierce, Fierce, and more Fierce. Guaranteed performance, supreme athleticism. Russ falls short of having a ring, but his pedigre is confirmed. I can not cut Russ and keep a single H.A.B. on the roster. Rio will be enjoying the flamboyant style that is Russ Westbrook.

Dwight Howard – The best physical specimen that the game has known. So many are jealous of his physical attributes and they translate that into their dreams and expectations of their own personal embodiment of Dwight’s gifts. Dwight is a powerful Center/Forward, that plays those positions regularly. Dwight has developed the hook shot as one of his many weapons. Dwight is a supreme rebounder and shot blocker with the ability to control the board. Dwight can Alley Ooop dunk with more power than DeAndre Jordan and he has better body control. When the Russians role out two 7′-4″ Mastodons, you are not going to want to look down the bench and call on LeBron, Durant, Bosh, Carmelo, or any other H.A.B. to be your enforcer. Howard can play Center or Power Forward, he has developed post up moves, and he can put the ball on the floor due to his exceptional body control. Mr. Howard, I truly wish that I could experience being you, “In Rio”!

Kawhi Leonard – A true Small Forward that chooses not to be a H.A.B. Kawhi earns his reputation over the NBA’s best Forwards and Centers. He plays 5 inches taller than his height and does not shy away from defense or rebounding. Solid Small Forward with a ring! Enjoy Rio Young man!

Draymond Green – Ditto Kawhi Leonard.

Kyrie Irving – A real guard! We need a Floor General and a Defensive Guard and Irving is exceptional as both.  Irving wins out over Chris Paul because of his quickness, shot magic, and proven defensive skill.

Kevin Durant – Can’t get around his speed and deadly shooting ability. Kevin is a good insert to cause match up problems for opposing teams. I do not need Durant for defense or rebounding. Rio Bound, and I am sure you will stay for a while!

Chris Bosh – A little bit of a H.A.B. A light weight power forward, that should probably be considered as a tall, Small Forward. I like Chris for his experience, his streaky shooting, his quickness, and his defensive skill and range. Watch yourself down there in Rio, young man.

DeMarcus Cousins – Not many real Centers in the NBA. DeMarcus qualifies as one, If I believe what my son tells me. Cousins apparently has good body control, strength, and agility for a monster sized Man. Center is the position that is desperately needed when we load up the squad with fake H.A.B. Guards that specialize in ‘Jacking” from 30 feet out! Hope you Enjoy that lovely “Cowntry”.

Curry, LeBron, Griffin, Leonard, Davis

Russ Westbrook, Kyrie Irving, Dwight Howard, Draymond Green, Demarcus Cousins, Kevin Durant, Chris Bosh